Sometimes I can't believe the things that come out...
David: Do I have to file a ppo against you?
Me: I'm down with OPP.
David: Yeah you know me?
Me: I'm so funny sometimes it kills me.
David: Hilarious my dear.
Me: You know you lol'd
Me: Roll on the floor laughing out loud my f*cking off? I don't get it
Me: Rotten owls take flight late on lake lick my f*cking orange it got packed in some fantasy
David: And now you take a bow cuz that was epic. LOL
Me: Thank you...thank you very much. Be sure to tip your waitresses and try the fish.
It's a Fact....
All men walking around thinking you’re God’s gift to woman….just remember that woman was God’s gift to man. BAM!
ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?!?!!?! All you silly little kids need to get some damn self-respect and some class. Absolutely pathetic.
My fiery red hair. I’m over being a blonde. I came. I saw. I conquered. I want my ginger status back. But my stylist did such an amazing job and it was only like 2 months ago and it still looks amazing. Maybe I’ll wait until late October-early November-ish. Maybe I’ll do a little darker than my natural too for the winter?
Every time they show Ronnie during the opening credits of Jersey Shore……I crack up when he laughs. EVERY TIME!!!
Dear Bagel Bite Makers,
Okay, so bagel bites are great. Who doesn’t love them? BUT here’s my issue. Bagel bites taste a million times better when you take the time to cook them in the oven rather than the microwave. BUT they’re meant to be speedy snack….Why would I take the time to cook the bagel bites in the oven in the time I could make something much better. I want the oven-cooked appearance...
Come view my new life distraction. Careful, you... →
Speaking of Kardashians.....
Have y’all noticed how Kim looks unreal lately? Not good unreal. Like you-been-spending-too-much-time-in-the-plastic-surgeon’s-chair unreal. Not only is she fake, but now she literally looks fake. Like a live blow-up doll.